| Scourge of Humanity Trip Report |
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| Scourge of Humanity   | 
| Page Type: Trip Report Location: Colorado, United States, North America Lat/Lon: 39.58280°N / 105.6681°W Date Climbed/Hiked: Aug 16, 2003 | Page By: Aaron Johnson Created/Edited: Aug 17, 2003 / Mar 12, 2006 Object ID: 169035 Hits: 1505 Loading... Page Score: 87.19% - 5 Votes Loading... Vote: Log in to vote |
So, it has come to this.
I knew the fourteeners were popular, but I was still shocked upon our arrival at the top of Guanella Pass. Hundreds of cars packed the improv lots and lining the road on both sides over the crest of the pass. It was going to be an unbelievably busy day on Mount Bierstadt.
Our intent was to simply pass over the Bierstadt summit, traverse the Sawtooth Ridge and have lunch on the less crowded, pointy and airy summit of the Sawtooth. We would then return either over Bierstadt, or pioneer a new route down the gully on the west side of the Sawtooth mountain that would hopefully avoid the willows by contouring back to the Bierstadt trail. I knew the weather was racing us, but the weather would have nothing to do with the outcome of this outing.
Lines of people were marching their way up the trail. Our group of 8, on an IU Trekkers event, were among the hundreds to tromp over the well made boardwalks that made traversing the nightmare willows a pleasant jaunt.
My daughter Shanna has taken up hiking this year. This is quite the change from her sedentary lifestyle of previous years. She has worked hard to get in shape for climbing, and managed to make an unplanned ascent of her first fourteener, Mount Harvard, Colorado’s third highest mountain. She also climbed this mountain via a third class route. Other outings included Mount Sherman, her second fourteener, the Holy Cross Wilderness (10 miles), Whale Peak (7 miles) and a host of other high altitude hikes. She had lost and continues to lose considerable weight, and her performance on the trail has improved tremendously.
Our group had split into the fast and slow sections. Another group of about 8 was in between us. Shanna took advantage of the wide trail and passed this group to catch up with the fast half. On her passing, she overheard a derogatory comment from a thin female about her physique that was hurtful and offensive. Next thing I knew, Shanna’s back with me at the end of the line, ready to burst into tears. When she repeated what this twenty-something year old said, I was enraged and started speaking loudly, near shouting so that everyone could hear. An awkward silence fell upon the trail as I shouted the following:
It must be nice to be perfect all of the time. It must be nice to be a beautiful person and know that you are God’s finest piece of work. You can be an asshole any time and anywhere you want. Unfortunately for the rest of us lowlifes, we have to put up with these assholes, even on the trail on the side of a mountain. The more people there are, the better chance you will encounter these assholes. Too bad this asshole doesn’t have the courage to look me or my daughter in the eye and apologize for her stuck up, cold hearted remark. That’s because she’s a pathetic, poor excuse for a human being, nothing but a waste of skin!
Well, Shanna, never mind. Don’t let it bother you. You see, when you climb a popular fourteener, you’re bound to run in to all kinds of people. I doubt this flawless person has ever climbed another mountain. She doesn’t have a clue about you, what you’ve done or been through, your accomplishments (which I doubt she could match) or how to climb another mountain without a #$%^! trail (perish the thought-I might mess up my hair). So don’t let one person’s groundless comment stop you from achieving your goal. When we get to the summit, I can raise all sorts of hell with this thoughtless dumb shit and put her in her place.
Climbing fourteeners means nothing anyway. It never has to me. Hell, I have yet to climb them all. I don’t intend to. I could care less! There are many BETTER mountains to climb, most of them are empty of people. This ant procession is a nightmare and a mockery of the mountain. Solitude? What a joke!
I continued to encourage Shanna, but the incident really worked her over. The options were to summit, upon which I would hunt down the bitch and proceed to publicly shame her and probably have her male companions ready to kill me, or we could retreat and do a short hike on the other side of the road. Square Top was just “across the street” with far fewer people. Ironically, less than half a mile from the road, we might see five people. I told Shanna I wouldn’t blame her for turning around. Why share the mountain with hundreds of people? The mountain was buried in the filthy scourge of humanity and their doggy’s do-do. The whole thing had become disgusting to me. I just wanted off the mountain and away from these hopeless yupsters. I felt suffocated.
It’s amazing what one hurtful comment can do to a person’s enthusiasm. Shanna was crushed and my heart ached and wept for her. She wanted off the mountain, probably to avoid an embarrassing scene at the top involving her dad. She spoke of returning during the week and climbing it from another route where the chances of encountering people were slight. This memory is such a painful one, I wonder if she’ll go back to Bierstadt at all. I know I won’t. It’s not the mountain’s fault, which is a shame, but me and Bierstadt are done.
The group had gone further ahead. I had Shanna wait with my pack so I could run up the trail, catch up with the rest of the group (making good time by the way) and inform them of our intent to head down. I cut across the tundra to make an attempt at catching up to them, but there were so many people on the trail, I couldn’t make them out! I shouted out Randy’s name and saw some folks stop-it was them. I shouted through cupped hands that we were going down. As I turned to leave, I heard Ellen’s sharp, piercing whistle grabbing for my attention. Enraged and hurt, I made a sweeping motion with my arm to illustrate that we were headed down and started ambling back down the tundra. As I rejoined the trail, I got some nasty looks from folks, probably because I was trespassing upon Bierstadt’s precious tundra. Yeah? Well, a thoughtless cretin, which a lot of you would compare to, trespassed all over my daughter’s spirit. You can take your precious tundra and pathetic highway of a trail and ram’em right up your ass. And while you’re at it, contain your mutt!
As we descended, we heard a repeated remark: “Wow-you guys started early!” We offered no response. The less I communicated with this Starbucks-starved yuppie crowd, the better. Get me the hell outta here!
And the dogs. All kinds of dogs everywhere. We probably saw 20 dogs, running helter skelter through the “wilderness” unleashed, running people off of the wooden walkways and generally hogging the trail. What if these dogs decide to be a bastard and bite people today? “Oh, he won’t bite.” Famous last words! One dog barked at us as we encountered it. A harsh and unpleasant experience in the “wilderness” and the direct result of the owner’s lack of responsibility for the conduct of their child.
We ran into a ranger, starting up the trail as we got close to the parking lot. All I said was,”you’ve got your hands full today.” I hope the dog owners all got tickets. We saw a bag of dog shit, picked up by a thoughtful (or thoughtless) owner, hanging from a willow branch. I’d be willing to bet this bag o’ poop was conveniently forgotten upon their return. Dog poop permeated the parking lot, along with trash and cigarette butts. The place was a disgusting sewer pit. God only knows what the nearby willows were like. This may be Colorado’s filthiest trailhead.
Ellen had left the group to catch up to us and find out what had happened. We explained. She understandably said that Shanna shouldn’t let it bother her. True, but the fact is, it did. It’s easy for someone like Ellen to say that. She’s in great shape and a stunning sculpture of a mountaineering athlete. Shanna has a ways to go to achieve this (and I’ll never get there), so I empathized with Shanna and did what any loving dad would do and comforted her.
We passed the Mount Evans Wilderness sign (what a joke) and crossed the road to a trail, once a jeep road, leading toward Square Top mountain. We took a right forking trail that leads through the willows to gain the northeast ridge. Ellen was in need of some exercise and was understandably frustrated. Her descent meant that the Sawtooth Traverse would not take place. She was the only one in the group that had done it before and was going to lead the effort. She shot up the ridge and Shanna and I stopped at some rocks to have some lunch, talk about the whole situation and get cheered up.
I shot some pictures of the parking lot atop Guanella Pass from this spot. Shanna made the comment that more people were on Bierstadt than what you’d see at a shopping mall. I thought : That’s a sick reality, that’s a day on Bierstadt. It’s just awful. We watched the weather move in, forming over Evans (as usual) and bringing the first rain of the day. It sprinkled on us, but the mountain got a pretty good shower. The sun came out and the cliffs of the Sawtooth glistened in the light. Shanna learned a lot about mountain weather that day by watching this storm form over Mount Evans.
Ellen descended and we went back to the Pathfinder, nestled in with countless other SUVs and cars. I took some startling pictures of all the cars-startling because we’re in the mountains, on the edge of a wilderness area. It was ridiculous. Why not line the trail with asphalt all the way to the top, complete with stoplights at the boardwalks? No more maintenance on the CFI’s part will be necessary. A Starbucks can be flown to the summit each spring.
The group returned in segments. Randy and Sharon Breunlin had descended a bit of the ridge toward the Sawtooth, managing to achieve some relative privacy for a bite to eat. The storm had no thunder, but it did make conditions a bit slick and “styrofoam” hail had fallen at times. The rest of the group simply summited and turned around, marching with the hordes back to the crammed parking area.
And along with the hordes came the pathetic excuse of humanity that made the derogatory comment to Shanna. I was ready to go have some words when Shanna said,” excuse me.” Shanna went over, introduced herself and told this cold hearted waste of skin that her comment prevented her from summiting. The girl was shocked that he comment had been heard and was rendered speechless, but offered no apology. She did mumble a cheap cretin’s lie. “I didn’t say that.” “You made the $%^&! comment bitch!” Shanna shouted back, and walked away.
I don’t know if I would have handled it quite the same way, but Shanna felt better, and that’s what mattered. And she had the courage to look the girl in the eye, something I doubt that girl will have the courage to do with anyone in the future. Her kind always talk behind people’s backs for they have no spine. If I was her boyfriend, whom I’m assuming was there, I’d drop her like a hot potato. What a disgusting waste of skin! As they backed out of the parking area, this girl and I made eye contact. She had a sick grin on her face, a hint of demented pleasure, until she saw me. I pointed at her and said “you’re pathetic.” The grin faded a bit, but she worked hard to maintain it because she’s a monster. And you have to be that way when you’re a monster. Her group was on their way to the Buffalo Bar in Idaho Springs. Now I know why I never go to the Buffalo Bar.
I’ll never return to Bierstadt, let alone the “popular” fourteeners, in light of this day. We have loved these mountains to death. It is an ugliness I no longer want to see. Some would argue (including me) that SummitPost perpetuates this horrific phenomenon. If it weren’t for the SP membership’s promotion of “leave no trace” and wilderness ethics, I would be deleting all of my material right now instead of writing this ranting report.
Ellen brought up a good point. The fourteeners are going to be climbed (read “loved to death”) with or without SP’s influence. It’s better that SP does all it can to influence good human conduct on our mountains, lest they be ruined. In my opinion, for Bierstadt, Evans, Grays and Torreys, it’s too late. They were ruined long ago. Examples of our folly.
Climbing all the fourteeners is not a big deal. If cold hearted weekend bitches and irresponsible dog owners that get out once a month can climb and slime these mountains, what’s the big deal? I am not impressed. What impresses me is your experience on a real mountain. A few of the fourteeners fall in this category. Those are the ones where you have to use your brain to get up and down the mountain. You have to find your way, use your hands, rely on your mountaineering experience and education to get you out of a jam. 90 percent of these people on Bierstadt would be hopelessly clueless and crying out for mercy in a real situation. In the end, I pay more credence to the guy that’s climbed Colorado’s high thirteeners than to a fourteener bagger.
You’re gonna climb all of the fourteeners? Whoop-t-fuckin’ do for you! You’re a stud! You’ve got a lot of company on Bierstadt and they aspire to be your friend. Or at least share a Starbucks with you. Oops! Watch out for that dog poop. Or is that dog poop? Cream or sugar with that Starbucks?
Yes, it has come to this. Images
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Front Range (CO) > Mount Bierstadt > Scourge of Humanity
